I'm in my 20s, but this is something that I've been thinking about a lot too. Last year I started waking up in the middle of the night and having panic attacks about death. Like you, I didn't ever find a definitive answer, but I have at least gotten past having panic attacks about it, and I just try to see beauty in the world and enjoy each day as best I can. Nothing else you can really do I guess!

Also, I'm very sorry about your friend Louise. She sounds like she was a wonderful person.