Oof. I feel for your daughter. It's been close to a decade since I went through all the college application stuff, but it was already getting so ridiculous even then. The need for perfect grades, an endless list of AP credits, SAT scores, and as you pointed out, also extracurriculars and volunteer activities that were somehow supposed to be more interesting or unique than the ones everyone else was doing.

I'm glad to hear that you're not pressuring her too much - she's lucky to have you as parents!